Thursday, 14 May 2015

ROLE OF PARENTING IN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

As human beings we experience life at 6 levels,
  1. Physical
  2. Emotional
  3. Professional
  4. Social
  5. Creational
  6. Spiritual

There are emotions that dominate these levels of experiences.
  1. Physical world- Fear and Wonder
  2. Emotional World- Disgust and Joy (This is the epicentre of all emotions, but primarily dominated by these two emotions)
  3. Professional World- Anger and Courage
  4. Social World- Sadness and Love

The 5th and 6th levels, creational and spiritual levels, are advanced levels in which emotions don’t play a role. Each emotion has its own functional utility.
There is role division between feminine and masculine energies in who will teach the child which emotion. In other words, the work is divided between mother and father to teach the child certain emotions.
  • It is the role of the masculine/ father to instill the emotions we generally call negative (-). By negative I don’t mean that they are bad. I say the word negative because the system tries to avoid these emotions. These emotions are fear, disgust, anger, sadness.
  • It is role of the feminine/ mother to supply the emotions we generally call positive (+). By positive I don’t mean they are good. I say the word positive because the system wants these emotions. These emotions are wonder, joy, courage, love.

None of these emotions are bad or good. They are present in the system to provide functional utility. Most people overvalue the role of positive emotions in life, so I will go explain the value of negative emotions in detail.
  • Fear aids in survival and assessment of danger
  • Disgust aids in understanding boundaries. For example, a person is not supposed to sleep with his mother or sister because it is disgusting.
  • Anger aids in dominating the space for oneself in the outside masculine world
  • Sadness aids in understanding the concept of loss.

 Now, as a society, we encourage our girls to feel the full range of emotions, including negative emotions. But we dissuade our boys from feeling all the emotions. If a boy gets scared and shows that he is scared, he will be called a sissy.
What we consciously suppress, we unconsciously crave. A boy, just like a girl, craves to feel the fear, disgust, anger, and sadness. And this craving forces them to put themselves in situations that can harm their own selves or other people around you. As a society, we need to reach to an understanding that it is equally important for a boy to feel his full range of emotion as it is important for a girl!


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